Transparency

This past week was an interesting one. For the last year, I spent it in a bubble. Away from the chaos of town and slightly secluded at the conference center. But in my short time since moving into Wasilla, I went head first into the Thanksgiving / beginning of Christmas shopping season. Retail work will brutally awaken you if you've never experienced it. I've done this before. So it wasn't my first rodeo. 

Within all the chaos that goes on, coworkers have questioned why I act the way I do at a retail job. I never really had a clear answer other than, "isn't this what we are supposed to do." While someone may be a little irate over their coveted product missing from the inventory, my natural reaction is to fulfill a guests needs and have them in a better condition when they leave than when they walked in the door (the Boy Scout in me is showing on my sleeve). But it was clearly evident this week there was more to it than just doing my best at work. Last Sunday, the reality of what I'm doing in my current stage in life came to a monumental jaw dropping reality check.

When preparing for first service, I noticed a few people coming through the doors. It wasn't a "I know them personally" but a "I know them because I talked with and sold them something at work." This reality became clearer as the three services went by. Each service, I saw a few people that I had attended to at work. Now, I don't know if they noticed me, but this truth sunk in; "is how I present myself to these individuals at the retail store reflecting who I am on Sunday within the church, but am I also reflecting the God that I am supposed to be representing 24/7." 

With serving publicly at a church, life outside church must be genuine. Christians in name are to be "Christ Like". But the reality of my reflecting Christ weighed heavy. This week has been brutal for me. This weighed on me heavily. Each day, the worlds meld more into one. People identify me not just as the electronics guy, but also as that bearded guy they see behind the glass on Sunday. Some guests even called me out as a drummer before realizing I worked at the store. In many ways, people are getting to know me more outside the drum set glass than from behind the glass. It's kind of funny that even though people can see me through the transparency of drum-shield, it actually creates a barrier (kind of like it's intended purpose of dampening sound). 

So after some reflection, there's an answer to the question asked by coworkers. It may be something foreign or confusing to understand, and they may not like the answer. But it's blatantly obvious; the way I do my work and life should be a natural reflection of Christ in me. Galatians 5:22-23 points out characteristics that should be evident if I am in step with the Spirit. Hopefully, this shell of a man is a transparency to Christ in me, and what I'm doing is just a natural outflow of Christ's work in me; whether at work or behind the drums.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

A lot of people have asked what's going on, and why I am doing what I am doing. First, yes, the news is true. I have left Victory. Support wasn't there, and I wasn't doing what I felt God called me to do; then my term ended. It was my goal to stick till the end of my term to be faithful to what I had signed on to do. But as time ticked down, God made it clear I was to stay in Alaska and volunteer at Church On The Rock more. It's been a weird transition. Imagine something you have done part-time and/or full-time for the last ten years, then it is gone. I can't say it is a loss of an identity. The season was more of one that God let me have to try to wrap up all my dreams and to move me into the next stage in life.

In the present, I'm currently in Wasilla Alaska. God's hand on everything is completely evident. An apartment in my price range, a job that takes care of the bills, and plenty of opportunities to serve God and reach the people of Alaska. I can't complain. I'm content with where God has me.

There have been many responses to what I'm doing. The two main ones have been: "why are you doing this, it's insane" & "wow, you jumped into this feet first, and God is proving faithful." I love the second response. God has been evident in all of this, He's provided so much in such a short time. I thought many people would get upset at my leaving Victory to stay in Alaska. But the opposite was true. Instead it has been an overwhelming positive response. When I do hear the first response, it doesn't bring me down. Instead, it gives on opportunity to share Christ and the work that He is doing.

All I know is this: God has invited me to stay in Alaska and volunteer at Church On The Rock more. I'm just being faithful and plugging into the music side for now. I'm praying about other opportunities I feel called to be a part of, but can't plug into until a better job comes along.

Last Sunday and this next, Church On The Rock is giving a glimpse into what is on the horizon. You can watch the whole service (why not join in worship), or skip ahead to the message.

COTR Live Stream Start with "Visioneering 1"

I love how Pastor Jonathan put it. "You've got to put skin in the game". That is exactly what I believe God has called me to do. He has given an invitation for me to be a part of His work here in Alaska. Do I know every step ahead. No way. But I do know there is a path, and I've decided to follow it, no matter where it leads, or how long God wants me on it. It has been a blast so far.

PLEASE, if you have questions about what I'm doing or comments, please contact me. I want to answer them. I don't want rumors going around. And if you are in Alaska on a Sunday, join us at COTR! You won't regret it.

- Daryl

Transitions

Greetings Everyone,

Alright, it's time to share it with all of you. Time has flown by so quickly, and I can't believe it is already here. Seems like just yesterday I had arrived in Alaska. But just like the transition that was made 18 months ago, it is time to make another transition. With respect to the supporters behind the work I'm doing, I made sure to get word to them first. But now it is your turn.

With coming to Victory, it was for an 18 month term. This was the amount of time one-time and monthly support would last me. It would also give me time to raise more support to continue on serving at Victory. As the months went on, I continue to serve and expand my service within the ministry. Support never really picked up. Transitions happened within the ministry. Job descriptions changed. Visions changed. Jobs changed. And God said it was time to move on.

The more I kept plugging into local ministries in town, the more I could see God strengthening gifts I had put aside. So, knowing my time at Victory was coming to a close, I committed to God my desires, passions and burdens... letting Him direct the next move. And did He answer.

So, this week I am frantically packing and trying to wrap up all the loose ends around Victory. By October 31st, I should be making the final move from Victory Bible Camps in Glacier View Alaska, to Wasilla Alaska, just 1 hour and 20 or so minutes away. Not far of a move compared to the last (4 1/2 days from PA to AK). In Wasilla I will be plugging into Church On The Rock more. Over the last year, I've been playing drums occasionally, but come November 1st, I'll be playing as much as I can (every Sunday I can). I've been asked to pray about plugging into different areas as well.

Personally, this next move is a bigger leap of faith than the move to Victory. I at least had a job and place lined up when I move from PA to AK. Now, there isn't a job or a firm place lined up. Everything I'm doing through COTR is volunteer. All I know is God has made an invitation and I am taking Him up on it. The more I moved toward it, the more the pieces have fallen into place via God's hand.

If you want to see some of what I'm up to, you can check out Church On The Rock during Sunday services at churchak.org. Other than that I'll post a little on Facebook. I'll be putting this blog on the back burner for awhile, unless there is some short term missions trip or work I'll do.

Continue to pray for me as I make this step. Pray that God open up employment and a place. I have a great peace about this move. I know God is involved in the whole thing. Thanks for all your prayers, support and interest over the years.

Grace & Peace,
Daryl J. Howard

The HM Update 023

Hey All,

Hope you are all doing well. Winter keeps playing games with us. One day we are cold and I wake up with no coals in the stove, while other days it is flannel with sleeves rolled up and waking up to a fire still going. Sounds like we are in for a mild winter.  But enough about the weather.

A Wrangler showing a camper how to properly lead a horse

The Ranch Camp Director sharing with the campers
during an "evening" campfire

Here is the latest installment of The HM Update. In this edition you will find a wrap up of summer, transition into conference, and another transition in the very near future. Download, read, enjoy.

THE HM UPDATE 023

The excitement of campers arriving

Thank you for all your prayers and support. Can't wait to share more in the near future.

Grace & Peace,
Daryl J. Howard

Fall Is Fading. Quick September Update.

Fall is fading quickly. It seemed everything was yellow and orange last week. Now most of the leaves have dropped off. We've had our first heavy frost... but no snow on the ground yet. I just wanted to touch base on some of what's been going on.

Sorry about the delay in the next update letter. It was meant to be out early September. But as we see, September is drawing to a close and October is about to go into full swing. I purposefully delayed the newsletter with some changes that have happened at Victory. For one, I'm no longer in publications. Where Victory is at this time, my gifts are no longer needed, so I am being phased out of guest services and have been pulled from design and publications. My days are now being spent doing maintenance. Roofing, moving things from point A to point B, removing beaver dams, waxing concrete counters, etc etc etc. Those are my days. A lot different than my mental taxing desk work or attending to group needs. But the little personal free time I have allows me to still do a side project or two of my own or for some friends.

Outside of camp, I'm still doing worship at Church On The Rock. We are preparing for missions conference in mid-October. Between trying to heal from my bang-ups through maintenance and the bouts with colds from working in frigid water and temps, it's hard to get practice time in. But God continues to give strength and creativity when it is needed. Playing last Sunday was proof of that. Swollen knee from smacking it at work, but healing to return worship to Him. God is good.

Welp, that's all I can share for now. Keep Victory in your prayers as we are short staffed. It greatly effects our work. Pray that God brings the right people along to help get Victory to where it can be.

Pray for me that I have the faith to trust God is what He is doing.

A letter will be out soon enough. There are some projects I need to finish before I will get the time to get it out. When you get it, you'll understand.

Grace & Peace,
- Daryl

Transition Into Conference

The colors on the trees are turning from their summer green to fall yellows and oranges. It's not uncommon to put some wood in the stove to heat up the house for the night, then wake to temps in the 30's. Fall is starting in Alaska. It's hard to believe summer camp ended only a few weeks ago. Even with the campers gone, Victory has kept busy.

While counselors were finishing their last prayer and praise meeting, the planning for the first of many guest groups was starting. For me, it meant being in the hosting mindset. So while everyone reflected on the summer, my mind was on what needed to get ready for the group coming in. It wasn't until about a week ago that my body and mind caught up with the season. Sleeping for eleven hours straight was greatly needed.

Summer. Victory saw a little over 700 campers attend this summer. We tried some new formatting with the camps, and we saw the return of some AV elements in chapel. Personally for me, it was good to have an AV team beside me. It meant not getting burned out as fast, and allowed for the office work to get done and not pile up.

Conference. Now we are in conference season. Already I've hosted two groups, and done a ton of dishes, cleaning and set-up. Though exhausted, there is a renewed energy in serving others and connecting with them. After being able to pray over people, take care of needs and figure out some tricky situations, I was able to sit down by one of our firesides and sharpen an axe for a group. It was only 2pm and I was spent. But while sharpened the axe, I was overcome with joy through with all God had allowed me to do that day. People ask how we do ministry if we are not preaching the gospel directly to people who come on the property. As staff here are Victory, people put us under a microscope and watch us. Because of our ministry, our lives are a direct representation of Christ. That day was proof of how individual's observations and how we interact with others reflect who Christ is and what we stand for. It eventually leads to conversations that allows us to share the love and message of Christ.

Life outside camp. With conference in full swing, it is hard to find free time to practice for worship, let alone get wood for the cold days ahead. People think I'm crazy to use a day off or a half day to go into town and play three services at church. All I know is I may be physically tired when I get into church, but when I pick up the sticks and worship God on the drum-set, I'm overwhelmed with joy and strength. No matter if I had a sleepless night and hardly got any practice in, God chooses to use me to help lead others and gives me all I need to do so. So whenever anyone tries to praise me for playing, I can only point it back to God and share what He has done that day. It's a humbling experience.

In the next week or two I should have the next update letter out. It will recap the summer, what is going to happen this fall, and some other fun stuff. Sorry about posting much. Something I deeply regret. Can't wait to share more of what God is doing here.

Grace & Peace,
Daryl

Dangerous Prayers

They say to never pray for patience. I've learned from making the mistake of doing it a few times (in all honesty, it wasn't a mistake). A few weeks ago, I needed to get my ego in check. So, before playing worship, I asked God to take me out of the equation and that He may be glorified through my time behind the kit. Dangerous prayer to pray. Very similar to the danger of praying the Lord's Prayer. (Take some time to read through the prayer... really think about what you are saying) So with my dangerous prayer of asking God to humble me came a knee injury harkening back to Jr. High. There was a few knee pops, inability to play what I wanted, then immobility around camp, and the inability to do my job to the level wanted. God decided it wasn't just my ego behind drums needing to be checked, but also my leadership, work and perspective needing some refining as well.

For the first week, I said "I got it" and pushed through. But as pain, immobility and research came, I realized I didn't have it together. There is a great scene in the classic mini-series Band of Brothers where Captain Winters has sent some of his men to lead an attack on a village. The men get pinned down and everything goes chaotic. Winters has been with many of these men since enlisting before the war. Being the type of leader he is, he wants to lead them from the front lines. A commander quickly has to remind him that his place isn't on the front lines anymore, that his leadership is needed behind the scenes. The scene kept replaying in my head as I sat with my knee elevated and iced for days. Unable to leave the office, I was forced to lead the AV team from my desk. If there was something amiss, I couldn't just run out there do what I wanted. The injury forced me to say, "I don't have this" and train the team to get what is needed, and to be ok if they didn't get it and needed more time. The injury also brought to light many other areas. My workaholic tendencies during the summer were slowed with needing rest and healing.

As for drumming, the reminder of the amount of time it took to heal from the last knee injury caused me to weigh the options of never playing again. It hurt and really humbled me. I'm usually humbled by the fact that each time I'm being the kit, God is using a talent He has given me to help lead others in corporate worship. But to honestly consider maybe having to lay down sticks for awhile deeply saddened me. I believe my prayer was answered. I was taken out of the equation.

The healing is almost done. I'm finally out of any aid that is needed for bracing my knee. There is still some work needed, both physical and spiritual. But now that I'm up and at it all again, I have a new perspective on my role in ministry and my role when it comes to music. I'm thankful for how God answers prayers. Even when they don't go the way we want, God is continually making us more like His Son by how He answers and what tests He puts in our lives.